Love!! or Some such Thing!!

I don't believe in the idea of dating or courting. Two reasons – 1) I don't think they are the best ways of finding love, or rather Love isn't something that can be “found” 2) I don't think I am skilled enough to find a date for myself.

Let me put out a disclaimer right at the beginning. You may very well consider this blog as the author's attempt to console himself for reason No. 2, by trying to justify reason No. 1. But go ahead and give it a read anyway. You might find a couple of things that might make a wee bit of sense to everyone.

Love often starts when the guy/girl fancies a girl/guy and goes out of his/her way to impress her/him. And right here, It starts going all wrong for me. I mean if one has to “Impress” someone else to get their attention, Isn't it more of attraction than love?

Yes, your argument is absolutely valid if you say attraction is the ignition to the menagerie that is Love. People start to know each other better in the attraction stage, and from thereon it may or may not grow into love. If it does, good for them. If it doesn't, there might be a mini depression period. But eventually, they grow out of the attraction stage and try courting someone else they find “attractive”. Fair enough, but somehow It just doesn't ring the right bells in my brain.

There has been quite a lot written about love, articles, poems, verses and what not. Pablo Neruda, Oscar Wilde, Emily Dickson and likes have written everything there is possibly there to be written about love. I'll never be even an iota of a percentage as erudite as them, but here is my humble attempt to answer the “What is Love?” question.

Love doesn't start with a chase or “attraction”. Love begins with friendship. Love is not when you get attracted to someone of the opposite sex and feel the need to know more about them. Love is when you are attracted to them because you know enough about them. Love is not picking up your phone, texting/calling your better half 5 times a day. Love is most certainly not getting “upset” or “angry” because they didn’t reply to your text/call as they were busy. Love is trusting them enough, to understand they are busy, and that they will have a multitude of stories to tell when they do get back to you.

Love is not about going out of the way and “proving” you to be the best for them. Love is about being the best for them. I mean if you really have to prove something to a person, It can never be love. Love is not when you feel the need to get intimate or physical at every other instance. Love is when you get the orgasmic pleasure just by having long conversations with them. Love is not when you wish to hang out in theatres, malls and such "cool" places with your better half, on a date. Love is when a cup of coffee, a table and a random, meandering conversation is all you need to make a perfect date.

Having things in common isn’t a predecessor to love. Finding things in common with someone, that you never thought possible, might be one. Love is not about making them feel special. Love is when their mere presence is "special". Love doesn’t strike with innumerable phone calls/messages or the latest in thing, Whatsapp. Love is when you don’t yet know, that you are in Love.

So, never chase or be chased. It might lead you to finding a partner for life, but Love? Not quite so. Meet people. Make friends. Friends like you for who you are, you needn’t “impress” them to grab their attention. Just go with the flow. Who knows, 6 months/2 years/ 5 years or maybe even 10 years down the line, you might find your Love. A friendship that grows into love has to be the strongest and the most everlasting of bonds.