“Man up” and Fight

In light of the rape on a bus, this may be a rant or a voice just like any other. So here it is.

Sad, True Story !!

Let us begin by saying that the root cause of all problems is population. When there are too many eggs, there is bound to be a case of few bad eggs. However, in this instance, it is the case of only a handful of good ones.

We live in a society where “if it isn’t my garbage, it doesn’t really matter” as the given approach to every problem . Let us consider the Thackeray clan and the havoc it wrecked not all that while back. It ranged from forcing shopkeepers to put up the signs outside their shops in Marathi to Bombay Bandh over the demise of a “leader” who was as twisted as they come. It went as far as making arrests over Facebook posts when people summoned the balls to call a spade a spade on their wall. We pride ourselves in being a Democracy with “equal opportunity” and “Freedom of speech” being conferred on us by the makers of the Constitution.  You see the hypocrisy? I do. So coming back to the “garbage” part, why doesn’t anybody who can be heard come to the fore? Why doesn’t anyone do a Anna Hazare? Is it because a law against corruption will solve everything? Well, here’s a shocker, it won’t.

The problems are ingrained in our social fabric.

• Sex education isn’t important.  I cannot fathom why most people are of the view that it is akin to “corrupting” of young minds and Boy, OH boy! how we condemn all that is corrupted. Well, another shocker for dimwits, it is called education for a reason. It quells curiosity and makes both genders aware of the human anatomy something they will learn anyway but not understand, either through peers or the Internet.

• We talk about rape and molestation but most of it is insensitive jibber jabber. Eve teasing has taken a backseat. We boast of a culture where we pray to Goddesses in the morning and then step out later in the day to harass young women who may or may not be skimpily dressed.

• The rules are different for a brother and sister within a household. I totally support this since these are “bad times” but why not ask your son to stay at home too since he might step out in the dead of the night and rape a girl who unfortunately lacks caring parents as yourselves?

• Our nation forgets a disgrace whenever something that is remotely better or slightly more gory comes along. That or the media gets a better story to sensationalise. Did I say sensationalise? I meant, run. Every slight is played up and eventually loses heat. Example 1: Indian cricket’s dismal run. Rest assured if they play an IPL now, all will be forgotten.  Example 2: Arushi Talwar’s murder in 2008. Anyone know what became of that? Example 3: On first Jan, 2008, a mob molested 2 women on the streets of Mumbai.  Were the perpetrators brought to book? If yes, then why wasn’t that played over and over on television? Why the front pages of all leading newspapers weren’t screaming that justice was served? One of two reasons, either it wasn’t or it was a story that doesn’t sell.

• We Gossip. We can’t mind our business. We must discuss how someone’s daughter is wearing skirts or roaming with boys. We gossip and mind our own business when the dignity of the daughter is lost and ostracise the family and whisper “It was just a matter of time” behind the family’s back. In some cases, on its face.

Pardon me for I am known to digress but then again these are issues which incense me. I haven’t touched upon the political aspect of things, which is, yet again, a sorry figure.

• Laws are ineffective. The judiciary is incompetent.  It took us 4 years to mete out justice to a Terrorist who came into our country, massacred and mauled. He was captured and famously ate biriyani behind bars for four years while the tax payer bore his expenses. This was when he was a “high-profile” criminal. Stop pretending that you are safe in your bubble because you are not, especially if you are a woman. If you are a man, your sister, daughter and your mom aren't safe either. Ajmal Kasab’s victims had to wait for four years for some semblance of justice, you might have to wait an eternity.

• I doubt anything can bring justice to a rape victim. It isn’t just the human body that is violated, a spirit is marred. Imagine getting slapped by a stranger in full public view because you are in wrong  company (by wrong I mean a man) or inappropriately dressed (according to him) and multiply that insult and humiliation by a 1000 times. That is how it would feel.  Meanwhile, you have upholders of the law that are of the view that the rapes will go on because “she asked for it” and more shockingly, “it is consensual most of the times.” What I want to ask these policemen is: Is that how you justify yourselves when your respective wives are not feeling it on some nights? Kindly visit the Tehelka website for more material that might make that nerve in the temple throb with fury. Why these men aren’t not stripped of their badge and honour? Why a more thorough background research isn’t conducted into their morals and beliefs before drafting such men into the force or are we so short on labour resources that anyone with a penis and a sack of balls qualifies?

• Rape within marriage is not a crime in India. Pray, tell me how not. It is because you have obtained the society’s approval to have sex and can do as you deem fit? Is it because you own a being or another’s will?

There is a widespread uproar demanding capital punishment for rapists. That will not solve anything. It will lead to an increase in murder after rape so that there is no one to testify against the culprit. I’d propose castration after identification. Identify the culprit. Let the newspapers scream his name in their pages and do it quick, for we as a public are blessed with a short memory. Let him be condemned and shamed. Let him not “get it up” for the rest of his life and live with the shame of this heinous act.

More importantly, teach your sons to respect women. Let equality be preached at home. Make it mandatory for every girl to learn some form at martial art and make it mandatory at school level.  More than sewing and stitching, a girl should learn how to protect herself and her honour. Make that part of the academic curriculum.

Most importantly, educate. Educate about sex, respect and equality. Teach morals at home and at school.

And to women, take a stand. You are not on this earth to marry and reproduce. That is just a part of the plan. Be independent for your parents and/ or siblings are not going to be around forever to protect you. Don’t take bullshit in a relationship or in a marriage. It is not okay for him to hit you or abuse you and stop telling yourself it will not happen again because it will. Walk out. You deserve better.

Lastly, let it never be forgotten that “female empowerment” has “female” as a prefix because our sex has to fight for it. Unlike our male counterparts, we aren’t given privileges on a platter. So, as they say, “man up” and start fighting.

P.S : Thanks Bhavya for letting me share this. You can find more of her posts here.