Resources & Body Shopping? STOP using these terms!!

I have been a part of the almighty Indian IT industry for nearly 2 years now. I used to wonder why this huge bunch of dreamy eyed engineering college students chase the big fat IT company dream. It was akin to Bollywood’s classic “poor boy chases rich girl” scenario. It all sounded stupid. Now, I no longer wonder. I just know that it’s stupid. Seeking help from a classic cliché, it’s akin to digging your own grave.

This won’t be a rant on the shortcomings or idiosyncrasies of the IT Industry; that would require me to write a book. I would like to bring up one particularly pointless and convoluted part of corporate life, Office Jargon. There are 2 such jargons, which are mostly specific to the IT industry, i.e. “Resource” and “Body-Shopping”. For those who don’t know, a resource is a tag given for an individual with any specific skill-set; i.e. a person skilled in .Net becomes a .Net Resource. Body Shopping is when such “resources” are placed in the client location, to fill up vacancies in their IT organization.

I find both these references as extremely denigrating to the employees. I do understand that for an IT company to function, it does need to do the dirty work of its clients; hence hire people trained in certain skill sets and/or send them abroad to work in their client locations. But labeling them as resources or bodies, commoditizing human beings under the context of making profits for an organization, a non-living entity, is as belittling as it gets.

Any organization prides itself on its professional ethics. But dehumanizing their employees by tagging them as resources/bodies?  Will never sit right with me. What could the alternatives be? .Net Skilled professionals? I don’t know, it could be anything but resources. As for body shopping, just ban the abominable term. It sounds like something a cannibalistic clan would go about doing on a Saturday evening.

Things to do when bored in Office.

Office can be boring at times. Or Most of the times. Or is it always? Well that depends on the individual. There are often days in office when the only challenge you have in front of you is to prevent yourself from dozing off in your workstation. In fact it can get so boring, thaaaaattt kealsdopjalsdklcsakcndas lkaf . Oops sorry, My bad.

So, what does one do on such days? Surfing the internet is the most obvious option. Log into all possible social networks, chat with people whom you haven’t seen in a decade, tweet about political problems like you actually give a damn about it and actually check out Google+ to see how a post apocalyptic social network would look like. But that’s the easy way out. And one will get bored of it eventually.

So, here are 10 alternate, fun and (un)realistic ways to help you bide your time in office.

• Thought of starting with a useful one. Sign up for an online course and learn something completely new. Coursera is the place to be. You can find a huge assortment of courses ranging from Quantum Physics to A Beginners guide to Irrational Behaviour.
• Visit a random forum on the internet. There are hoards of it. Pick a topic which interests you the least and you have nil knowledge of. Pick a thread which has a serious discussion going on and post a stupid question on it. Wait for the replies and have fun.
• Missed out on a movie because of your busy office schedule? Well your office is kind enough to give you the solution for the same. You will find most of the relatively new movies on YouTube. So, Go ahead. Grab some popcorn, Get your headphones and watch a movie.
• Scout for people who are equally if not more bored than you, assemble them in a vacant meeting room and shoot a Harlem shake video. I know the Harlem Shake is among the most retarded things ever, but kills your boredom for sure.
• Anyone who crosses your workstation, stop them and ask for the secret code in Batman’s voice. This may result in irritated co-workers and a slap or 2, but again it kills your time.
• There is always THAT one annoying person who everyone tries to ignore in Office. Be their Agony Aunt. Sit with them and listen to what he/she has to say. Try to look genuinely interested even if you get the impulse to slap the taste out of their mouth.
• Take a walk around your office. Wherever you find a person out of their desk, go to their system; take a screenshot of their desktop and save that picture. Now, hide all icons, drag the task-bar down and set that picture as their wallpaper. Stand back and enjoy as they try to figure out what’s wrong.
• Call the receptionist from your mobile phone and ask them for yourself. And when your office phone rings, pick up and engage yourself in a serious conversation. Finish it off with an expletive and bang the receiver down.
• Put on your running shoes and run a lap around your entire office. Get back to your workstation, do the winners pose and Mail your timings to everyone in office.
• Pick a random person who is working seriously (Yes, I know they will be far and few). Go all Dee-Dee on them. “Oooh what does this button do”, “Why do you have this slide in here”, “Can u tell me what does this function do in JAVA”, “Can I press this button”. Once you think they are irritated enough, move on to the next person.

How Not to Waste Time in Meetings?

Meetings. There are two kinds of meetings, as BusinessDictionary.com puts it.

1) Organizational Meeting, i.e. Board Meetings and Annual General Meetings, mostly involving the Senior Management and Shareholders

2) Operational Meeting, i.e. the ad hoc meetings , involving the management and the employees.

Organizational meetings are essential, as they are responsible for giving direction and building strategy for the future growth of a firm. It is the Operational meetings, that I have a problem with.

I am sure there must have been a time for any working person, when he/she is sitting through a meeting, with their mind wandering away and thinking “What am I doing here”. Don’t worry, you are absolutely right to think that way, as you could indeed be sitting either at your own desk, doing some much more productive work or better, sleeping in your house.

Meetings take up an obscene amount of your working hours. Higher your position, more the time one spends in meetings. The issue being, this doesn’t just eat up your working hours, It extends it. Also, with increasing amount of time being wasted, one also ends up lagging behind their actual tasks for the day. This would eventually lead to another “review” meeting, and henceforth. A vicious cycle, which more often than not leads to reduction in productivity.

People often think that having a 2 hour meeting to review employees, delegate work, use business jargons and of course, fix the next meeting is extremely effective and gets the job done. But It doesn’t. I don’t mean to say that meetings are a strict no, but there are certain things that could be done better , giving the meetings an actual meaning.

- Do not invite people who are not expected to make any contribution to the meeting. 2 things that happen due to such invitees are, one, they just sit through the meeting happily biding away time and procrastinating their actual work. Two, they give their “expert” opinions, which more often than not leads to a muddled discussion.

- Set a time limit, Stick to it. Often, meetings do not have a set time schedule. They extend from minutes to hours, and even after that, there is no consensus reached. Isn’t it much better, if the meeting is scheduled for a fixed time limit, giving the attendees a proper chance to put across their points, rather than meandering aimlessly over 2-3 hours.

- Even if the agenda of the meeting is not met over the fixed time limit, end the meeting after the set time.

- Stick to the Agenda, and don’t include a number of topics to be discussed in the same meeting. This will automatically reduce the number of attendees and the time of the meeting.

- Do not review already discussed items for people turning up late. It was their fault and hence, let them regret it (Or do they?).

- Always go prepared to a meeting. This will ensure you don’t ramble , trying to make up points on the fly, and also that you finish your meeting on time.

- Strictly no phones, tablets, PDAs or laptops, except for the one being used for a presentation maybe. People interrupting or diverting their attention are not just disinterested, but they are also devaluing the meeting

- Address the expectation of the meeting right at the beginning, and finish it with a proper set of tasks assigned to the attendees. Make Every Meeting Count.

- Don’t dwell in the past. Do not discuss issues that had arisen in the previous meetings. It will only prolong the meeting without actually moving forward. Have a fresh start. Always.

It’s actually not hard. But, If these simple set of rules are followed, meetings will actually be productive and not just an excuse to while away time in Office. As I said earlier too, you could instead be sleeping in your own cozy bed. Take your pick people.