Vignettes of Divelish : The IT guy next door.

“Ah it’s only Tuesday. Not yet a weekend. In fact, far away from it”, thought Laksh as his body clock gave him a shakeup at 7 in the morning. Quite unwillingly, he dragged himself to the Office. The cluck struck 10  and the daily chores began. Another ordinary day at work. Few Calls made, few emails sent, few gossips spouted. Things were as mundane as watching a turtle race. And then, Divelish made his presence felt.

Divelish was the latest addition to Laksh’s team in office, increasing the count to 8. Divelish was a mousy, bespectacled man in his early thirties and had an air about him that screamed that he was one of those guys who were socially awkward since birth, who somehow got into one of the gazillion engineering colleges that plague the country, somehow scraped his way through the 4 years, got placed in one of the big IT firms, went on-site for an assignment and since then has had a put-on persona of a cool, composed, hippy know-it-all. Put-on being the key word here.

So, it was Divelish’s first day at the office. Laksh being an effervescent guy, was the person assigned to be his “buddy” and was supposed to make him feel at home in the Office. Like that ever happened. Heh.

“Hey guys. This is divelish. He is a new joinee and will be a part of your team,” said the forcedly amiable HR lady.

So, the entire team, including Laksh, got up and exchanged mandatory pleasantries.

“Hey Divelish, welcome aboard”

“Great to meet you finally”

“I’m sure you will be a great fit in the team”

It all sounded rehearsed. Well, It was rehearsed.

“Thanks a lot people. Great seeing you all,” Divelish answered.

“So Divelish, Laksh will be your buddy. He will make you feel comfortable. If you want anything else, please feel free to contact me,” said Ms.HR with a smile. The smile was put-on as well, but that is a part of their job. HR's always smile, don't they?

“I'd like a large coke without ice and a cheese burger with extra cheese. Just kidding! That's all, Cheers! Thanks for all your help,” beamed Divelish.

Divelish was shown his seat and his system. A few nervous and unpleasant moments later, Laksh spoke up “So, wassup Divelish. Welcome aboard man. I heard you were working with HTS for 5 years before joining here, Tell me more about it”

“Oh yes mate, I was working with HTS for 5 years and 4 months to be precise. Was working on a project for TesMart, and guess what. I was working in the client’s location in UK for 3 months. How cool is that?” blurted out Divelish. His excitement was evident when he said “UK for 3 months”.

“Wonderful man. So, what exactly was your role in the UK? I mean 3 months, that’s just a short term visit. I believe you went as a consultant there if I am not wrong,” questioned Laksh trying to look as interested as possible.

“Yes. I was there as a SAP consultant. And you won’t believe when I say this, everything is so damn expensive there man. I mean the tube charges nearly 3 pounds for a ticket to the next station. Vaaarryy Expensive,” an accented Divelish exclaimed. Where did that accent come from?

“Oh Ok, I have heard of that. You were a SAP consultant right. I heard UK is the place to be for SAP consultants. You didn't try to extend your stay there?” enquired Laksh.

“I wanted to, mate, but as I said UK is soo expensive man. Would you believe when I say that water is more expensive than beer?” Divelish said with complete disbelief in his eyes and an on-off accent on the tip of this tongue.

“Okay, but common man. A year in UK, it could have done wonders for your career. I mean our company is big when it comes to SAP solutions, but still.”

“Yes, That was the reason I joined here man. Speaking of big, do you know how big the Heathrow Airport is? Huge, man. It took me almost an hour to drag myself from one gate to another when I had to catch a flight back to Chennai. Beautiful airport man.” Proclaimed Divelish, excitement dancing in his eyes.

Laksh sort of understood where this was going.

“Oh Ok, Good for you buddy. Anyway, let’s grab some lunch man. I am sure you will be feeling hungry too.” Said Laksh, hoping that might lead to some less “UK is expensive” talk.

“Umm ..”

*Yes I know food is most certainly expensive in the UK*

“Sure man.”

*Phew*

Laksh walked Divelish a bit around the Office campus and showed him places while on the way to the canteen. There were a few “UK” references ever so often, but Laksh was getting used to the pattern.
“And finally, this is our office canteen man. The food isn't great, but it is free,”

“Oh great man. You know what …”

*Oh Damn, Not again*

“ … In TesMart’s Office, they had a huge canteen man. And they offered a huge spread daily. Huge buffet man. You name it, and you got it,”

Laksh wore a look that was half resigned and half incredulous, and nodded.

“Hey Laksh, you are finally here dude. Was waiting for you. Who is this new dude?” exclaimed Aadil.

Aadil was Laksh’s close friend, a college mate and lunch partner. He was the ideal example of an IT guy. If ever there was a factory which churned out IT employees by the dozens, Aadil would have made a perfect prototype model.

“Hey Aadil. This is Divelish. Joined my team today. He is a SAP guy. Divelish, this is Aadil. One of my closest friends,” said Laksh.

“Hello mate. Yes, I have joined today as an SAP consultant. Was working in UK for 3 months as a consultant for my client TesMart,” said an even more excited Divelish.

“Oh ya, that too. He was working in the UK for 3 months,” muttered Laksh with a nudge to Aadil.

Being close friends, they understood each other very well. That nudge was enough for Aadil to know everything he needed to know about Divelish.

“Oh I see, Awesome man. Welcome to our company. I am sure you will be a great asset here,” said Aadil, laced with undetectable sarcasm to the ears of Mr Divlesh and extended his hand to Divelish.

So, the initial exchanges were done with, the three collected their lunch and found a table to sit. A few unpleasantly quiet moments later,

“Dude, there is a new subway down the road, man. We should so check it out,” Aadil looking at Laksh.

“Oh is it? Awesome, man. That should take care of our lunch if the food out here turns out to be shit,” replied Laksh.

“Wow! Subway! You won’t believe when I say this. The place where I stayed in London, there was a subway just besides my house man. It was soo huge. It was always crowded. Every morning, before going to office I used to grab a sub. But again, vaary expensive man.” Said Divelish glowing with enthusiasm.

“And near my Office, there was a Starbucks. It was greaaat man. Perfect place to have a coffee. Really nice man. It should come to India soon, don’t you think so?” questioned Divelish to the two “listeners”.

“ Of course, It should,” Rang a chorus.

A few more quite moments followed. Laksh and Aadil were not willing to risk starting a topic and giving Divelish a push to start with yet another chapter of “The Escapades of Divelish – UK edition”.

 “Aadil Dude…” exclaimed Laksh

 “… Remember the presentation I was talking about last week, I am finally done with it. Finished it the day before. Need your inputs on the technical part of it. The client has asked for something very specific. Will forward you the ppt. Help me out buddy. By this weekend will be great”

“Oh ya. I was going to ask about it. Forward it, dude. Will help you with it,” replied Aadil.

“ Oh is that presentation on SAP? I can be of help man. When in UK, I used to do lots of presentations for my client. And u know what the best part was?” asked Divelish.

*Were they expensive as well?*

“ Oh, tell me about it dude. I am all ears,” blurted Laksh.

“ Sometimes, I used to sit in Starbucks and do my presentations man. They used to give free wifi man. Greaaat Service man. “.

“Wow. Free wifi. That is unreal,” chortled. Aadil.

Lunch never felt this long for Laksh as there were a couple more chapters of the Escapades of Divelish told with increasing excitement every time. What made it more irritating was that they sprang out of nowhere, like a stealthy, old cat which lies in wait for its prey. All Divelish needed was a word, and he found a way to connect it with some random happening in the UK. Almost always, there was no relevance or sense in it. But then, HE LIVED IN THE UK FOR 3 MONTHS.

So, lunch went by. Aadil had a meeting and had to “unfortunately” bid adieu to Divelish. Laksh had a few more hours to pass with his “buddy”. His teammates were not helping him much, as they took the safer way out by staring at their computer screens and pretending to be busy.

Finally it was 6p.m. Laksh thanked the heavens.

“Alright Divelish, Its time for me to leave. It was great knowing you. See you tomorrow then *Oh God Why* “

“Oh! you are leaving, is it? I have to meet the SAP head so I will be a bit late. No problem, man. See ya tomorrow then. How do you travel btw?” asked Divelish.

“Office bus, man. It’s free. Not expensive at all. I guess you should use it too,” said Laksh with a smirk.

Divelish, oblivious to the sarcasm, beamed and said “Oh bus! Great,man. I did the same in the UK. We had wonderful buses, man. But vaaary expensive. You know what the best part was? ………… “.