Game for The Game?

There is a game called just that. The Game. And It’s near impossible to win The Game.

Here is an exercise for you. Try to think of 10 different things that you could do different in your daily life to spice it up. But whatever the case maybe, do NOT think of a Red Elephant. I repeat, thinking of a Red Elephant is a strict NO.

So, if you thought of a Red Elephant, which I’m sure you did, you just lose a version of The Game.

Yes. The Game is a mental game where the only objective is to avoid thinking of The Game. You lose once you think of The Game, which is pretty inevitable. Sounds strange and pointless? Well It is either stupid and futile or fun and challenging, depending on how one sees it. Though the idea is pretty simple, It is pretty complex once one starts playing it with thousands of other players trying to outwit you.

This game has three rules by which the players should abide.

1. Every individual in this world is playing The Game, willingly or unwillingly. One cannot stop playing it.
2. Whenever one thinks of The Game, they lose.
3. When one loses, they have to announce their loss to at least one other person, verbally or through any other means.

If you are reading this, you just lost The Game

Once a player has announced a loss, there is usually a grace period allowed varying from 3 seconds to 30 minutes to allow the player to forget about the game. During this period, the player can’t lose The Game.

The origins of The Game are unclear so are the motives to it, but the Fansite suggests that the Game was created as ' an incurable mind virus unleashed by scientists in the 1970s', ‘ An unprecedented social experiment involving human mind' and 'An infamous psychological challenge that broke the game theory'. 

Not many people are aware of it, though the youngsters are getting hooked to it the Americas. The Game is based on the Ironic Process Theory which states an individual’s deliberate attempt to avoid thinking of a certain something will render those thoughts more persistent.

The Game has a dedicated facebook page. You get to meet people who are playing The Game here, Strategies (Though there aren't any) and ways to cause your opponents to think of The Game, hence make them lose.

Wierd? Yes. It is. But at times, Wierd is Awesome.

Things to do when bored in Office.

Office can be boring at times. Or Most of the times. Or is it always? Well that depends on the individual. There are often days in office when the only challenge you have in front of you is to prevent yourself from dozing off in your workstation. In fact it can get so boring, thaaaaattt kealsdopjalsdklcsakcndas lkaf . Oops sorry, My bad.

So, what does one do on such days? Surfing the internet is the most obvious option. Log into all possible social networks, chat with people whom you haven’t seen in a decade, tweet about political problems like you actually give a damn about it and actually check out Google+ to see how a post apocalyptic social network would look like. But that’s the easy way out. And one will get bored of it eventually.

So, here are 10 alternate, fun and (un)realistic ways to help you bide your time in office.

• Thought of starting with a useful one. Sign up for an online course and learn something completely new. Coursera is the place to be. You can find a huge assortment of courses ranging from Quantum Physics to A Beginners guide to Irrational Behaviour.
• Visit a random forum on the internet. There are hoards of it. Pick a topic which interests you the least and you have nil knowledge of. Pick a thread which has a serious discussion going on and post a stupid question on it. Wait for the replies and have fun.
• Missed out on a movie because of your busy office schedule? Well your office is kind enough to give you the solution for the same. You will find most of the relatively new movies on YouTube. So, Go ahead. Grab some popcorn, Get your headphones and watch a movie.
• Scout for people who are equally if not more bored than you, assemble them in a vacant meeting room and shoot a Harlem shake video. I know the Harlem Shake is among the most retarded things ever, but kills your boredom for sure.
• Anyone who crosses your workstation, stop them and ask for the secret code in Batman’s voice. This may result in irritated co-workers and a slap or 2, but again it kills your time.
• There is always THAT one annoying person who everyone tries to ignore in Office. Be their Agony Aunt. Sit with them and listen to what he/she has to say. Try to look genuinely interested even if you get the impulse to slap the taste out of their mouth.
• Take a walk around your office. Wherever you find a person out of their desk, go to their system; take a screenshot of their desktop and save that picture. Now, hide all icons, drag the task-bar down and set that picture as their wallpaper. Stand back and enjoy as they try to figure out what’s wrong.
• Call the receptionist from your mobile phone and ask them for yourself. And when your office phone rings, pick up and engage yourself in a serious conversation. Finish it off with an expletive and bang the receiver down.
• Put on your running shoes and run a lap around your entire office. Get back to your workstation, do the winners pose and Mail your timings to everyone in office.
• Pick a random person who is working seriously (Yes, I know they will be far and few). Go all Dee-Dee on them. “Oooh what does this button do”, “Why do you have this slide in here”, “Can u tell me what does this function do in JAVA”, “Can I press this button”. Once you think they are irritated enough, move on to the next person.

Vignettes of Divelish : The IT guy next door.

“Ah it’s only Tuesday. Not yet a weekend. In fact, far away from it”, thought Laksh as his body clock gave him a shakeup at 7 in the morning. Quite unwillingly, he dragged himself to the Office. The cluck struck 10  and the daily chores began. Another ordinary day at work. Few Calls made, few emails sent, few gossips spouted. Things were as mundane as watching a turtle race. And then, Divelish made his presence felt.

Divelish was the latest addition to Laksh’s team in office, increasing the count to 8. Divelish was a mousy, bespectacled man in his early thirties and had an air about him that screamed that he was one of those guys who were socially awkward since birth, who somehow got into one of the gazillion engineering colleges that plague the country, somehow scraped his way through the 4 years, got placed in one of the big IT firms, went on-site for an assignment and since then has had a put-on persona of a cool, composed, hippy know-it-all. Put-on being the key word here.

So, it was Divelish’s first day at the office. Laksh being an effervescent guy, was the person assigned to be his “buddy” and was supposed to make him feel at home in the Office. Like that ever happened. Heh.

“Hey guys. This is divelish. He is a new joinee and will be a part of your team,” said the forcedly amiable HR lady.

So, the entire team, including Laksh, got up and exchanged mandatory pleasantries.

“Hey Divelish, welcome aboard”

“Great to meet you finally”

“I’m sure you will be a great fit in the team”

It all sounded rehearsed. Well, It was rehearsed.

“Thanks a lot people. Great seeing you all,” Divelish answered.

“So Divelish, Laksh will be your buddy. He will make you feel comfortable. If you want anything else, please feel free to contact me,” said Ms.HR with a smile. The smile was put-on as well, but that is a part of their job. HR's always smile, don't they?

“I'd like a large coke without ice and a cheese burger with extra cheese. Just kidding! That's all, Cheers! Thanks for all your help,” beamed Divelish.

Divelish was shown his seat and his system. A few nervous and unpleasant moments later, Laksh spoke up “So, wassup Divelish. Welcome aboard man. I heard you were working with HTS for 5 years before joining here, Tell me more about it”

“Oh yes mate, I was working with HTS for 5 years and 4 months to be precise. Was working on a project for TesMart, and guess what. I was working in the client’s location in UK for 3 months. How cool is that?” blurted out Divelish. His excitement was evident when he said “UK for 3 months”.

“Wonderful man. So, what exactly was your role in the UK? I mean 3 months, that’s just a short term visit. I believe you went as a consultant there if I am not wrong,” questioned Laksh trying to look as interested as possible.

“Yes. I was there as a SAP consultant. And you won’t believe when I say this, everything is so damn expensive there man. I mean the tube charges nearly 3 pounds for a ticket to the next station. Vaaarryy Expensive,” an accented Divelish exclaimed. Where did that accent come from?

“Oh Ok, I have heard of that. You were a SAP consultant right. I heard UK is the place to be for SAP consultants. You didn't try to extend your stay there?” enquired Laksh.

“I wanted to, mate, but as I said UK is soo expensive man. Would you believe when I say that water is more expensive than beer?” Divelish said with complete disbelief in his eyes and an on-off accent on the tip of this tongue.

“Okay, but common man. A year in UK, it could have done wonders for your career. I mean our company is big when it comes to SAP solutions, but still.”

“Yes, That was the reason I joined here man. Speaking of big, do you know how big the Heathrow Airport is? Huge, man. It took me almost an hour to drag myself from one gate to another when I had to catch a flight back to Chennai. Beautiful airport man.” Proclaimed Divelish, excitement dancing in his eyes.

Laksh sort of understood where this was going.

“Oh Ok, Good for you buddy. Anyway, let’s grab some lunch man. I am sure you will be feeling hungry too.” Said Laksh, hoping that might lead to some less “UK is expensive” talk.

“Umm ..”

*Yes I know food is most certainly expensive in the UK*

“Sure man.”

*Phew*

Laksh walked Divelish a bit around the Office campus and showed him places while on the way to the canteen. There were a few “UK” references ever so often, but Laksh was getting used to the pattern.
“And finally, this is our office canteen man. The food isn't great, but it is free,”

“Oh great man. You know what …”

*Oh Damn, Not again*

“ … In TesMart’s Office, they had a huge canteen man. And they offered a huge spread daily. Huge buffet man. You name it, and you got it,”

Laksh wore a look that was half resigned and half incredulous, and nodded.

“Hey Laksh, you are finally here dude. Was waiting for you. Who is this new dude?” exclaimed Aadil.

Aadil was Laksh’s close friend, a college mate and lunch partner. He was the ideal example of an IT guy. If ever there was a factory which churned out IT employees by the dozens, Aadil would have made a perfect prototype model.

“Hey Aadil. This is Divelish. Joined my team today. He is a SAP guy. Divelish, this is Aadil. One of my closest friends,” said Laksh.

“Hello mate. Yes, I have joined today as an SAP consultant. Was working in UK for 3 months as a consultant for my client TesMart,” said an even more excited Divelish.

“Oh ya, that too. He was working in the UK for 3 months,” muttered Laksh with a nudge to Aadil.

Being close friends, they understood each other very well. That nudge was enough for Aadil to know everything he needed to know about Divelish.

“Oh I see, Awesome man. Welcome to our company. I am sure you will be a great asset here,” said Aadil, laced with undetectable sarcasm to the ears of Mr Divlesh and extended his hand to Divelish.

So, the initial exchanges were done with, the three collected their lunch and found a table to sit. A few unpleasantly quiet moments later,

“Dude, there is a new subway down the road, man. We should so check it out,” Aadil looking at Laksh.

“Oh is it? Awesome, man. That should take care of our lunch if the food out here turns out to be shit,” replied Laksh.

“Wow! Subway! You won’t believe when I say this. The place where I stayed in London, there was a subway just besides my house man. It was soo huge. It was always crowded. Every morning, before going to office I used to grab a sub. But again, vaary expensive man.” Said Divelish glowing with enthusiasm.

“And near my Office, there was a Starbucks. It was greaaat man. Perfect place to have a coffee. Really nice man. It should come to India soon, don’t you think so?” questioned Divelish to the two “listeners”.

“ Of course, It should,” Rang a chorus.

A few more quite moments followed. Laksh and Aadil were not willing to risk starting a topic and giving Divelish a push to start with yet another chapter of “The Escapades of Divelish – UK edition”.

 “Aadil Dude…” exclaimed Laksh

 “… Remember the presentation I was talking about last week, I am finally done with it. Finished it the day before. Need your inputs on the technical part of it. The client has asked for something very specific. Will forward you the ppt. Help me out buddy. By this weekend will be great”

“Oh ya. I was going to ask about it. Forward it, dude. Will help you with it,” replied Aadil.

“ Oh is that presentation on SAP? I can be of help man. When in UK, I used to do lots of presentations for my client. And u know what the best part was?” asked Divelish.

*Were they expensive as well?*

“ Oh, tell me about it dude. I am all ears,” blurted Laksh.

“ Sometimes, I used to sit in Starbucks and do my presentations man. They used to give free wifi man. Greaaat Service man. “.

“Wow. Free wifi. That is unreal,” chortled. Aadil.

Lunch never felt this long for Laksh as there were a couple more chapters of the Escapades of Divelish told with increasing excitement every time. What made it more irritating was that they sprang out of nowhere, like a stealthy, old cat which lies in wait for its prey. All Divelish needed was a word, and he found a way to connect it with some random happening in the UK. Almost always, there was no relevance or sense in it. But then, HE LIVED IN THE UK FOR 3 MONTHS.

So, lunch went by. Aadil had a meeting and had to “unfortunately” bid adieu to Divelish. Laksh had a few more hours to pass with his “buddy”. His teammates were not helping him much, as they took the safer way out by staring at their computer screens and pretending to be busy.

Finally it was 6p.m. Laksh thanked the heavens.

“Alright Divelish, Its time for me to leave. It was great knowing you. See you tomorrow then *Oh God Why* “

“Oh! you are leaving, is it? I have to meet the SAP head so I will be a bit late. No problem, man. See ya tomorrow then. How do you travel btw?” asked Divelish.

“Office bus, man. It’s free. Not expensive at all. I guess you should use it too,” said Laksh with a smirk.

Divelish, oblivious to the sarcasm, beamed and said “Oh bus! Great,man. I did the same in the UK. We had wonderful buses, man. But vaaary expensive. You know what the best part was? ………… “.

Chinese Jugaad : Traffic Stand-Ins.

The more I read about China, the more fascinating it gets.

Picture this. You are in the city of Wuhan, a major transportation hub of China. It is often referred to as the “Chicago of China” for that. Being such a hub, the city’s affinity with traffic jams is similar to Leo Messi’s affinity with goals. Imagine you are stuck in one of the infamous Chinese traffic jams, the longest of which apparently lasted for 9 days. (I don’t understand how it can last for that long though). You are pissed, honking away incessantly, cursing the driver in front, cursing yourself for not starting earlier etc.

You don't wanna get stuck in one of these, do you?

Just when you think you are going to be stuck in your car for hours together, a couple of guys drop by your window in a motorcycle. One of them offers to drop you at your destination in their two-wheeler, and the other offers to take your place behind the steering wheel and drop your vehicle to its eventual destination. Sounds Awesome right? This is exactly what a company in Wuhan offers to its customers who are stuck in traffic.

Huang Xizhong was the brainchild behind this amazing business model. The service however is limited to people who have genuine reasons to want to escape the traffic jam, i.e. business meetings or if they have a flight to catch etc. The services have been running since 2010 and have tasted pretty good success. The service is available at a cost of about 400 yuan or about Rs.3500. So, In case you are stuck in  a traffic in Wuhan or Jinan, you now know what to do.

This is some serious Chinese jugaad for you.

The Great Mall of China - Not So Great.

AGS Cinemas, Navalur. Opened in the Coromandel Plaza about 3-4 years back. Being within the IT corridor of Chennai, the cinemas have been doing pretty good business. But the mall has remained largely unoccupied. In fact, fully unoccupied. Except for the movies and a few eateries thriving on the moviegoers falling hungry, the entire retail space has found no takers. The reasons probably are being too far from the city limits, and the builders looking a bit too much into the future.

If you think this is a plan gone awry, well then how about this? A mall in China, New South China Mall, which was going to be the biggest mall in the world in terms of leasable retail area, has been 99% unoccupied since it was built in 2005. That’s 8 years running, and still no one has turned up. What makes it more startling is, it exists in an area which is probably the world’s biggest megalopolis.

A usual day in the Great Mall of China

Alex Hu, a Chinese Instant Noodles tycoon built this monster mall in the city of Dongguan in Guangdong province. It was so large in its entirety that it was dubbed the Great Mall of China, for obvious reasons. This mall was going to be the symbol of the bubbling consumer culture of China. It was also ironic that China being a communist country was now home to the world’s biggest symbol of capitalism. On completion, the mall covered about 9 and a half million square feet, with over 2300 retail spaces.

The mall was expected to have a daily footfall of 70000 upwards. It was going to be the abode of retailers from all over the world. It was going to be THE mall in the world. But, none of these came to fruition. China’s “If you build it they will come” mentality had gone kaput.

Reason? The location, though within a megalopolis, was a terrible decision. Dongguan is a city of factories, and most of the dwellers are factory workers. Its connectivity with nearby cities of Hong Kong, Shenzhen and Guangzhou is questionable, with no effective transportation. Alex Hu built it here for he wanted to build in his home city, but it just did not work out. The site of the mall is a complete disaster.

Owing to these factors, the mall bears a deserted look. It has maintained a consistent 1% occupancy rate. Not a consistency the builders would be proud of. It bears the looks of a ghost town. The difference being ghost towns had people before who left due to various reasons. But here, No one ever came. If anyone ever wanted to know how a post apocalyptic world will look like, this might be the right place to be.

Get a detailed insight into this mall here.